Reading the description of a Meyers-Briggs personality type felt like a flattering horoscope at first. Prompted by my mentor, I took the 16 Personalities quiz to determine my personality type. The quiz determined I was an ENFJ-T (Extraverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging, Turbulent) and provided a comprehensive overview of how ENFJ-T’s experience the world. After skeptically reading through the synopsis and identifying with some things and not others, I sat with my notes. Most of what I could not identify with was my leadership competency, where I decidedly lacked confidence. Self-doubt started creeping in – was I cut out for leadership? The value of the personality diagnosis then became apparent – it wasn’t an instruction for what I needed to achieve but permission to see myself from a new angle.
“For these personalities, even the smallest daily choices and actions – from how they spend their weekend to what they say to a coworker who is struggling – can become an opportunity to lead the way to a brighter future.”
– 16 Personalities
What is the ENFJ?
The ENFJ is dubbed the “Protagonist.” Essentially, they are a personality that feels called to a greater purpose in life. They strive to have a positive impact on the world and the people around them. Protagonists are born leaders. Something about this spoke to me, but my initial reaction was to recoil internally. I’ve always struggled with balancing the line between confidence and arrogance. I would much prefer to err on the side of caution and humility, though this often results in a lack of confidence. My female colleagues tend to struggle more with this than my male peers. I’m confident there are a lot of societal factors at play in this, and I find that I am no exception to the trend.
I took it to therapy.
I decided to bring up my Meyers-Briggs personality type as a conversation piece in therapy that week. To my surprise, my therapist guessed my personality type exactly! We have been working together for years now, and this felt highly validating. We spent most of the session discussing why I had difficulty allowing myself to feel confident in my abilities. Something clicked, and I began permitting myself to feel confident.
Identifying my strengths and weaknesses.
Becoming comfortable in identifying as an ENFJ allowed me to explore the strengths and weaknesses as guidelines for my personal development. Common strengths included: receptivity, reliability, passion, altruism, and charisma. Common weaknesses included: being unrealistic or overly idealistic, condescending, intense, and excessively empathetic. Reflecting on my personality and tendencies helped me develop a strategy to recognize when I was any of the above items – good or bad. I began to notice when I felt genuinely charismatic and explored the elements that enabled this side of my personality to shine. It became a process of figuring out what situations/environments/people brought out my good traits and how I could facilitate that for myself. It is a work in progress, but noticing the positive trend in my abilities keeps me going. I keep track by asking my friends and family and reflecting in my journal.
While I don’t think anyone has to subscribe to a personality type to find themselves, I have personally found immense value in identifying as the Protagonist. I liken it to choosing a class in a video game. Are you the warrior or the wizard, the bard or the rogue? When selecting one, it’s enjoyable and easy to “become” the character. Likewise, having the assignment or external permission to be someone and explore my strengths and weaknesses on paper makes it easier to “become” the Protagonist.
The Quiz:
If you’re interested in finding your personality type, I used the site https://www.16personalities.com/. Check it out!